hell yeah

hey, i've been garnering an influx of fans on newgrounds lately. what better way to celebrate than with another unnecessary life update?

i'd like to preface this blog post by making it clear to you in advance: i am a 20 year old shut-in with no job nor active schooling. my life is extremely uneventful and uninteresting, so if you've started reading this in anticipation of some grand anecdote, now is the time to stop reading. i'm writing this purely for self-therapeutic reasons

so what's been going on with me? not much. i've been self-reflecting a lot lately, which I try to avoid doing since i've now reached the age where thinking back to the "good old days" starts to hurt because you tend to automatically compare the past to the present and future.

one of my covers ended up being used in Newgrounds vs Youtube, which i felt pretty honored to find out about.

i don't have the consistent release schedule that most other musicians on newgrounds have, but i still plan on making more music for the foreseeable future. time isn't an issue, it's just a personal preference of mine to only really work on music when i have a particularly inspired streak going, which now happens more consistently than it used to atleast. so if you're one of the 5 or so people that follow my work: you're in for a lot more in the future.

in other news: i may be getting my driver's license soon. i have an exam on the 17th this month, and if all goes well, i may finally be driving myself around soon.

i've been doing pretty much nothing besides work on the driver's license and the entry exam since september now, which may seem like an unusually long time to most other drivers, but i guess that's just how the system has evolved in recent years. the amount of people who own and drive a car is becoming a real problem, and they're hoping to slightly remedy it by raising the bar for getting your license to begin with. it's kind of an awkward time for me to be doing my driver's license, but i'm content with simply having done it, even though i've spent more than 3000 euros on it so far. i hope to be able to drive myself to concerts and other stuff once i finally have my own car.

as for finding a job or someplace to study; there hasn't been much of any progress. i have a plan Z in place which involves my dad trying to secure me a job at his brother-in-law's social office for the disabled, which is really not something i particularly care for but if all else fails, that's probably going to be what i do.

i signed up for indeed and linkedin (unnecessarily) a few weeks ago, which are essentially job hunting sites. you make a profile and then have an algorithm suggest local jobs to you that may fit your preferred work criteria. i don't know if it's just me being stingy or ignorant or what, but every job that i'm being offered kind of feels like it falls under the same 5 categories. you're either driving around town delivering something, arranging things, cleaning things, exchanging money or selling something. i know that you're not meant to be picky about what job you want, but i feel like it's got to be atleast something that i won't quit after 2 weeks because of boredom or apathy in the task at hand. none of the advice i'm getting from anyone seems to help my particular situation so i guess i'll just have to wing it and see what happens in the future.

that's all i got on my mind right now. i'm in the NG supporter chat during most days so feel free to come hang out there.

To be continued...

looks like i hit 100 fans yesterday.

thank you to everyone who bothered following me. i'm very grateful to be in the triple digit club now

these are my new song covers that ive made over the course of the last month or so. if you liked my cover of rumble this is more of the same thing. enjoy!!

i'm currently working on a double cover project so while i have this front page post i shall use it to show you what i've done earlier this month:

so cool

let me start by reminding you that my debut album came out on bandcamp in december and is now available. i am currently giving out free download codes for it, so if you have a bandcamp fan account, and you would like to add my album to your collection, let me know and i'll hook you up.

as always i'm here to show you the fruits of my labor as of the last 2 weeks

its a mix of my usual style of song + 2 songs that i recorded on guitar while experimenting with effects pedals. i hope you enjoy them!!

since my last front page post, i've put out 3 new songs that you may have missed:

i also released my first album on bandcamp over a month ago now. i'm currently giving out several free download codes for it. so if you're interested in owning a digital, lossless version of the album: message me here on newgrounds and i'll get you one. enjoy and thank you for your time

It's time for me to use the blog function on this website to write an actual personal blog entry. I know, it's crazy. I normally use this to shill my own music on the front page.

And rest assured, I will bury this with another front page music-related post soon enough. So if you're reading this because you saw it show up at the top of my profile; consider yourself lucky. Unless you're one of those weirdos that actually scrolls through people's past blog posts. Buckle up for some good old fashioned oversharing.

I don't know if I've written about this before, and if I haven't, then I'll say this now: On June 15th 2022, I graduated high school. And the postgrad life has proven to be a real bitch.

Now luckily, there's no pressure being put on me by anyone right now. Both of my parents seem content with me just taking my time and figuring out what I want to do, though pretty much everyone seems to believe that college/university is what's best for me.

I couldn't disagree more. Not only am I not interested in any subject or course that's available to me at the local unis, but on top of that, I don't think I have the capacity to take another 4 years of schooling in a whole new environment. It would drive me nuts.

A while back, when graduation was merely an abstract concept of the distant future in my mind, I figured it would be as simple as me suddenly getting some sort of epiphany, figuring out what I want to do, getting the job I want and living happily ever after. As I've come to learn, that's far from the case.

My main problem is that I don't know what I want to do. I have some passions and favored pastimes and interests, but none of them are marketable in any realistic way at all. So it's turned into this conundrum in my head where I have to go out and get a job or start some kind of college course, but none of the options seem appealing in any way at all. There's a ridiculous amount of options and yet, none of them speak to me whatsoever.

The advice that I always get from people who are a little older than me is to just "try anything", without even looking at what I'm signing up for. Just doing any dumb job I can get for a while and seeing what happens. This may work for most other people, but I just can't do it, because it's just not me. I have to know what it is I'm in for, cause that's how my mind works. As it turns out, school really doesn't set you up for the adult job-seeking life at all. It's a total mess and I have no clue where I'm going to be in a year from now.

The only thing I have going for me right now is my driver's license. I've started doing lessons and driving around in an actual car with an instructor sitting next to me. When I'm done and I've finally gotten my license, I will officially have nothing going on in my life at all, no reason to wake up in the morning. It's turned into this groundhog day scenario already where the days start to blend into eachother. Each day seems incredibly short and the vast majority of them have no meaningful happenings whatsoever. I'm just one guy sitting at a computer for most of the day, and occasionally talking to strangers online. I know I'm not alone in feeling like this, but that really doesn't make me feel any better about anything. I just wish I had a direction for my life to go in, like so many other people seem to have.

That's all I can muster up for now. I've just realized while writing that I'm starting to ramble so I'm cutting it all short here

If you relate to anything you've read, then all I can say is good luck to you. I'm probably not qualified to give you any good advice, seeing as I'm still trying to figure out the solution to the problem myself.

i felt like having my own bandcamp, so i went and put together an album & uploaded it on my brand new bandcamp page!!

https://jizzyjazz.bandcamp.com/album/maladroid

for now i have posted an album comprised of several original tracks i uploaded on newgrounds over the past 2 years. if you're familiar with my work, then this album won't be any new to you. there is an option to buy the album and support me if you wish to do so, though i plan to always keep my music free to download on newgrounds. there is plenty more music to come in the future.

thanks & enjoy!!