I'm really bad at writing these posts, but I also have this weird, undying sense of urgency to make some kind of connection to the outside world. So here goes, and bear with me here, this could get ramble-y.

After waking up at 6 in the morning, nearing the end of my easter vacation, I decided to pass the early morning time by looking through old stuff. You know, old websites, blog posts, shitty, bizarre flash games that are embarrassing to the original creators by today's standards.

Just type something like "george bush" into the Newgrounds search bar under movies or games, and look at what comes up. What I'm interested in, more than anything, is the creator of this hypothetical old flash file from the early 2000's.

99% of the time, their profile is entirely abandoned. If you're lucky, you'll find a somewhat recent forum post, or a link to an old personal website, that still works in 2021, almost 20+ years later, for some odd reason. Other than that, for all you know, that person is just gone. They're either approaching 40 years of age and building a family/life of their own, or they're dead, and you can't really tell which case it is.

Something about these old flashes and personal websites is just so very endearing, and sacred to me. I can't really explain why. It's a lot like a nostalgic feeling, despite the fact that those people had probably already run their course online by the time I was born in 2002. It's strangely appealing to me, and I just can't exactly explain why.

Maybe it's the idea behind the whole "middle class" of the early internet that really speaks to me. Young people were putting a moderate amount of effort into putting something out there, even if it sucked or wasn't all that impressive, just to generate some noise and be heard, even if hardly anyone heard them. That's what makes uncovering something like an old angelfire or geocities page so precious: you're seeing something obscure, and raw, and authentic. This is what was going through this person's head at that particular time, nearly 20 years ago.

And come to think of it, if Newgrounds is still around in 2041, this news post will serve that same purpose. I will be 38 years old by then (and hopefully not dead). So there you have it, this is how I felt, aged 18, on April 6th, 2021, on a bored tuesday morning.

I thought I'd leave you with two things: one is a Tom Waits song about the passing of time, titled "Time", which is what the title of this post is referencing. I like to go back to it when I think about this kind of thing.

As for #2: I thought I'd show you the websites I went through today. They're what inspired me to write this post in the first place.

First, I looked through @Beetard 's personal angelfire website from ~2001. It's still online even after all these years (I guess he never stopped paying for the web hosting? Weird.) The grey and red font on the fully black background just screams early 2000's era edge, which I love. If the link doesn't work anymore, try putting it through the wayback machine.

Then, through Beetard's website, I found his friend Sarah's old boltpages website archived on the internet archive, dating back to May 9th 2001. I love what's going on here, but sadly the majority of the images don't load anymore. I would have loved to see her photography.

To Freddie and Sarah, wherever you may be.

oh, and note to self: look through more of these. It's actually pretty fun, like digital, online archaeology.