Hi, you're here for the JizzyJazz blog post, right? The one on Newgrounds? Oh who am I kidding. We don't have a website yet, so of course it's all on NG.

Anyway, you're gonna want to go down the hall and to the left, take a left, and take another left down the hall. You'll know the blog post when you see it.

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Hey. The boss is expecting you. Keep scrolling.

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Oh, hi! Glad you could make it. Now that you're here, let's get all this proper punctuation and formatting out of the way.

so i've decided that now is the time to update the world on the jizzyjazz situation. in the interest of not turning this into another horrific stream-of-consciousness tangent, i'm covering newgrounds and music related stuff first, then i'll tell you a little about a personal experience i've been having.

so, where do we start? we're halfway through the year and i've only made 3 uploads at the time of writing. i know there's no pressure to be consistent about my posts on here, even if i had previously promised to make this year as busy as possible for myself, but it's still something that's going to nag me. i do genuinely wish that i had more to show for, that i was more productive & busy than i currently am, but it just hasn't been happening lately.

am i a lazy bum? a terminal procrastinator? eternally uninspired?

i'm still figuring that out for myself.

but for the record, i do still love making music. it's my primary pride & joy in life and i'm grateful to be able to do it, even as a small-time hobby.

i want to ameliorate the situation slightly, and change course from what i had established in one of my prior blog posts about what 2025 and beyond will look like. so here goes:

electronic album/EP is cancelled (for now)

i can't really see myself committing to a one-note musical project right now. i tried it, and it made me realize that i am a total mish mash as an art personality. i am a living jackson pollock painting. when i do one thing, i quickly throw out 12 other things because i deem them to be "too similar" to the initial thing i made that was new & unique at the time.

all of this is to say, i don't think i'll be finishing this particular project anytime soon. i ultimately set my sights too low and realized that "a nondescript ambient/electronic music album" is just not a very exciting concept for me to expand upon with my music. it was fun for a while though.

here's an early mock-up of the album cover that i had cooked up early into the project:

second order of business:

rock/punk project is a go

(no relevant music for this so here's my FTL remix)

there's this idea that i've had this idea floating around in my noggin for years that is loosely based on the Simple Machines Tool Cassette Series. without giving too much away, it'd essentially be a short rock music album, complete with a loose concept.

in keeping with the desired 90's vibe and marketing tradition, this is something i would like to release in it's entirety at once. it's something i'm very passionate about, so expect that sometime within the next year, or two, or three, accounting for any procrastination along the way.

remixes will continue as usual

i got a few more im cooking up currently. look forward to that

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now that the music stuff is out of the way, here's some stuff that i've been feeling in my feels as of late;

i know i referred to my audio work on newgrounds as "the music stuff" just now, but this is still a story about myself and music.

i went to a live show about two weeks ago. something i've always lamented about my musical experience is the distinct lack of concerts i've attended. i've been to orchestral shows before during school field trips, but i don't consider that to be a scene of music that is overly near & dear to me. i respect it, i just don't hold a lot of personal interest in it.

so one night in late april/early may, i made an impulse decision to buy tix for a band's live show near me, for me to attend alone, of my own volition, to administer the concertgoer experience to myself for the first time.

i went to see kate bollinger in cologne, germany. the opening act was kate NV, a russian artist with a diverse musical portfolio that i was being exposed to for the first time. i actually respect the hell out of it. the warmup was about a half hour of electronic beats that she was singing & interpretive dancing to. she was followed by kate bollinger and her band, hailing all the way from virginia, folk rocking out on a tiny, intimate venue. i was already familiar with her music and felt that they adapted it really well for a live setting, even daring enough to ask the audience for requests when we were nearing the end of the show.

overall i felt vindicated in my purchase. attending concerts is something i'd love to do more often, provided all the bands i like would bother to tour nearby rather than circling the continental US for the 20th time in a row. i think it's great that some bands make the effort to show up to europe, even if they're decidedly not mainstream nor highly popular.

the whole experience really made me think though. about myself, my future career path and what i'll find myself doing.

i don't want to wax poetic about this so i'll just say this: the experience reinforced my belief that i should get into music professionally. i've always struggled with careers and jobs since the lack of passion i have for almost all available fields means i have almost 0 motivation to pursue anything concrete with which to spend my life with.

but what i do know is this: seeing people stand solemnly on a stage together, playing their parts in a band setting, performing good music, all i can think of the entire time is

"man, i wish i could do that"

and i think that's where my ultimate fate lies.

which isn't too great for me right now. i never had any musical friends. i don't know anyone who shares the same passion for music as i do, and while i do enjoy doing it all by myself, i can't help but get weighed down by the idea of it being a potential group effort that i'm sorely missing out on.

regardless, it's something that's on my mind lately. and i guess i felt like journalling it. and you felt like reading the whole thing. hopefully we're both happy.

if you're not happy, here's a medal. thanks for reading!